Sephiroth Sexar Voiced by: Tony Esquivel Birthplace: Midgar Hair Color: Evil Bishonen Silver (dyed blond) Eye Color: Mako green Height: 6'2" Age: 21 Likes: In descending order: 1. Himself. 2. His flowing river of gorgeous, cascading, bishonen-hair. 3. The ladies. Dislikes: Split ends, cheap product, todo que es feo. Sexuality: God's gift to women Role: 1. God's gift to women, 2. Latino stud, 3. Gaea's sexist man, 4. The dashing leader of the Al Bhed resistance group... at least, whenever he's not washing his hair Background: Part man, part bishonen, part Spanish, part Casanova, all around Latino Stud. Sexar believes himself to be God's gift to women... the problem is, he's right. Unknown even to Sexar, God wanted to give women a gift so sexy that even the very essence of time and space could collapse under his perfection. Sexar grew up in a home of nobility in the slums of Midgar, the Middle Earth equivalent to Spain (strange how nobility lives in slums). He excelled at swordplay long before he could ride a bicycle (though this is often attributed to the fact that he opted to ride a motorcycle instead). Sexar never knew his mother, for she died giving birth to him, or so he heard from his father, Doctor Hojo. At an early age, Hojo enrolled Sephiroth into the military school called SOLDIER. Sephiroth quickly raised ranks to become a legendary soldier among the soldiers of SOLDIER. After a series of unfortunate events, Sexar fell in with the wrong crowd (a black-cloaked wearing cult) and left SOLDIER. Everything was going his way until he "slipped" and "accidentally" killed a young flower girl by running his sword through her. Sephiroth fled the cult, dyed his hair blond, and changed his last name to Sexar. Sephiroth is trilingual in the languages of English, Spanish, and Love (in increasing order). Though Sexar speaks good English, under times of great stress, he'll burst out into Spanish (which nobody else in Middle Earth speaks). Legend has it, his sexiness is so powerful that he can turn lesbians bi (he could turn them straight, but he prefers to ménage à trois). Sephiroth eventually found his way to the Kingdom of Canada. There he met Hair Dryer, the owner of the Kitties Katina. The two soon became bong buddies, getting stoned harder than a gollum. Upon the invasion of the Imperial Purple Flaming Dragon Clan, Sephiroth went into temporary hiding with Dryer. Infuriated by the Clan's attack on the peaceful Kingdom of Canada, Sephiroth vowed revenge. In order to get back at the Clan for their anti-drug campaigns and catchy slogans, Hair Dryer amassed his vast wealth into funding Sephiroth's plot for justice. With all of the gil a Latino stud could want, Sephiroth went out to build an army. Sadly, over 60 percent of Dryer's funds were secretly squandered by Sephiroth, so he could buy out all of Middle Earth's hair care product suppliers. With more than half of the war funds funding product, Sephiroth had to make some drastic budget cuts when hiring a crew. After a brief journey to the Caribbean, Sephiroth employed a crew of 50 of the ugliest, most incompetent Al Bhed pirates to join his ranks. Thankfully for Sexar, the transaction rate of Canadian gil and Caribbean GP was exceptionally high. Many have wondered as to why Sephiroth had decided to employ a crew of Middle Earth's most beauty-impaired men. As it turns out, Sephiroth wanted to find a way to make his sexiness even more sexy than is humanly possible. And as a small benefit to the Al Bhed, they share a symbiotic relationship with Sephiroth, getting to have their pick of the women he doesn't have time to love (by which we mean sloppy seconds). Now armed with an army being paid at slave wages, Sephiroth hired a Maester of Yevon named Smeagol to perform the sending for any deceased personnel, should the occasion arise (Which would in fact occur far more than just on occasion). Sephiroth's pirate crew often wonder why their bold leader would hire a travesty such as Smeagol, but only to Sexar's knowledge, he had tricked him into working for free by solving a few pesky riddles, most of which could be answered with the word "eggs". With thirty percent of his funds left, Sephiroth spent the remaining gil on his "airship," the Blackjack, which in fact is actually a landrover, but Sephiroth was too proud to admit to his mistake. The "Airship" Blackjack is armed with very large wheels, a poker table and a room de amor for Sexar's sexy interrogations should the captive be a chica (the room has had minimal use). Due to Sephiroth's budget cutting tactics, the Landrover Airship Blackjack no longer runs on dragon energists, but instead it moves via a herd of Oxen. With everything in place, Sephiroth knew that he still was missing something to sexy up his life style. After hours of intense meditation, Sexar came to the realization that God's gift to women should always have a groupie surrounding his presence 24/7. After hosting television's Middle Earth Groupie Idol, the hottest, skimpiest, most un-moral young woman stepped forward from the trailer parks of Midgar's Sector Seven slum, to serve as Sephiroth's biggest unpaid fan. Her name was Barberella Gainsborough. Through some major plot hole convinces, neither Sephiroth nor Barberella knew about the "manslaughter" of her sister, the flower girl. Sephiroth and company fought many successive battles, of which became a great concern for the Imperial Purple Flaming Dragon Clan. These successes only made Sephiroth sexier to the fan girls. Everything was going his way, until he met a scruffy boy named Bus. Sexar and his crew were under siege from the Purple Flaming Dragon Clan. By "siege", we mean, "the clan attacked Sephiroth by surprise and got their asses handed right back to them." As Sexar and the Al Bhed began raiding their defeated foes' treasures, they came across a rather agitated young lad, the angsting Bus Ford Truck, who was at the time, strapped onto a wall (As to why, we do not know). Feeling pity for the deranged psychotic youth, Sephiroth freed the vengeful boy from his restraints. Bus tried to bite Sexar's sexy hands, immediately getting an even sexier leather boot rammed into his face. After detaining Bus, Sephiroth saw a great deal of potential in the boy. He trained him to become a super soldier (And paper trained as well), though somewhere in the lesson plan, restraint and mercy were overlooked as valuable (a mistake Sexar's had to live with). Deep down inside, Sephiroth saw Bus as the insane little brother that he never had. Bus being a complete renegade psychopath, strongly contrasted Sephiroth's more graceful (a cleaner way of saying "dead sexy") methods of action. One might dub these two as Sexy and the Beast. regardless of Bus' reckless tactics, the two became a nearly unstopable force. Fun Facts: The director renamed Allen to Sephiroth only because movie!Allen looks almost exactly like him… but it turns out they also share Miki Shinichiro as a voice actor. It's a small, sexy world. Also, you probably already noticed, but Sephiroth is something of a favorite character... and... coincidentally... also voiced by the director. Corellation? YOU DECIDE!